Dave's Blog

Half a glass full « Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

2011-08-08T14:24:00.000+01:00

Half a glass full « Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

2011-08-04T22:41:00.000+01:00

Blood! Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

2011-08-03T07:04:00.000+01:00

A blog about "normal" Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

Dad « Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

2011-07-23T12:02:00.000+01:00

Dad Dad « Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

A kindness « Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

2011-07-22T09:29:00.000+01:00

blogged some of Ashley' school pics A kindness « Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

Day Out « Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

2011-07-12T17:21:00.000+01:00

Day Out « Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

Something fishy. « Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

2011-07-11T23:56:00.000+01:00

Something fishy. « Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

Meme « Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

2011-07-11T07:59:00.000+01:00

Blogging about Memes Meme « Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

2011-06-30T14:21:00.000+01:00

Prize Giving Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

Dream « Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

2011-06-27T17:35:00.000+01:00

Dream « Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

Who are you? « Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

2011-06-27T09:08:00.000+01:00

Who are you? « Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

Pizza surprise

2011-06-25T11:00:00.000+01:00

Domestic Science?

Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

My boy. « Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

2011-06-22T22:46:00.000+01:00

Ashley's walking!

My boy. « Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

2011-06-21T16:17:00.000+01:00

Another busy day on my Wordpress Blog

Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

Time goes by so slowly …. « Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

2011-06-20T10:08:00.000+01:00

Time goes by so slowly …. « Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

I wish!

My latest blog over at Wordpress.

Love to see you over there!

Taking Control

2011-06-14T14:54:00.001+01:00

It’s easy to let things slip and being organised has always been a bug bear of mine.

I keep a calendar on Google which is dandy for repeat events, colour coding and reminders.

We also have a 7 week wipe off calendar which the kids add things to when events come up. I transfer details from Google onto the wipe-off so everyone knows what’s coming up.

If it ain’t on the calendar, Dad doesn’t know about it.

We plan each week ahead so that clashes don’t happen and decide who’s attending what – with me working it’s easy for Gill to get the lion’s share of medicals, which is hardly fair.

All the kids school breaks are on the calendar which is more important with two school involved.

It also helps me to retrieve data: I can’t remember dates and the “events” filter helps me find out when things happened and see patterns too.

It’s not 100% as things slip through the net and we end up missing things or doubled booked. But it’s good enough and serves the purpose.

So are you a filofax fiend or a post-it person?

When I was born

2011-06-14T14:53:00.001+01:00

Harold MacMillan was almost done as PM of England and JFK had just celebrated 100 days as President of the US.
Brian Poole and the Tremeloes were no.1 with Do You Love Me?
Sandy Koufax was MVP for the Dodgers leading them to a Series whitewash over the Yankees.
Everton were were football League Champions.
Jim Clarke dominated F1 and came second in the Indy 500 to Parnelli Clarke.
The Beatles were enjoying a 30 week spell at the top of the album charts.
Dr Who and the Daleks hadn’t been broadcast.
A loaf cost 5 pence or 22 cents and a car cost £2500.
The ring pull had just been invented.
Our toilet was downstairs next to the coal cupboard, no-one on our street owned a car and only a few had phones. All windows were single pains of glass and would ice up inside in mid winter.

Times have changed eh?

From Humble Beginnings

2011-06-07T14:29:00.001+01:00

Earlier this year the government announced that child poverty in the UK had fallen by 2% at the end of the last government. But at 20% it still stands out as a very weak aspect of our society.

I remember as a kid, knowing we didn’t have much.

Sweets were a once-a-week-maybe treat (mine get them every other day) – btw there’s always fruit available too!

We got a tiny TV for the lunar landing when I was 5 but it was only a rental.

Holidays were in a borrowed caravan in North Wales.

But there was no mould on the walls. Jobs were more plentiful. By the time we emigrated when I was 7 Dad had been a worker in a transparent paper mill, a weaver and a milkman. We always had meat and two veg and home made fish and chips on Friday.

When I got to High School I started to find out that other kids went abroad once a year and didn’t hand clothes down to younger sibs. I started to develop a sense of shame about it and oddly anger toward my parents about our situation. I grew out of this and became hugely respectful of what my Mum had achieved (2 of us went to Uni and got Honours Degrees and my younger brother is a sr psychiatric nurse).

By then my Dad was disabled from a car accident so we lived off benefits first from Australia and then over here.

It gave me a good sense of how far money stretches and how to cook and look after things to make them last.

The documentary advertised below seems to paint a gloomier picture of the state of people’s homes and lives.

I’ll watch it and post a link to the programme when it appears.

BBC News – What children think and feel about growing up poor.

A Kept Man?

2011-06-06T13:23:00.001+01:00

A new survey has revealed that half of a man’s clothing is bought by his wife. He purchases 30% while the rest are made up of gifts from friends and relatives.

Well, for me this certainly isn’t true.

I haven’t bought a stitch in years.

Before Gill moved in, I’d buy clothes as and when I needed them (rarely). Shirts and slacks for work. Occasional ties. Jeans when the old ones fell apart. I’d only ever have what I needed.

But when she took over the purse strings my wardrobe got thoroughly freshened up. Lots of old ‘favourites’ disappeared and since then she has done the shopping. Shirts come and go. New undies magically appear in the drawer and if I look at a “fab” shirt I think would look great on me I get “the stare” and walk on.

Unlike me, Gill loves shopping and will happily go out when I get home to do a full grocery shop. She makes all the major appliance purchases (usually online and sourced by me – I’m good at digging out a bargain) and likes nothing more than choosing new drapes or bedding.

Purgatory for me would be an eternity in a mall with an endless shopping list and shop-assistant imps poking me with their forks.

This trend has developed over the years to the point where I’m a bit like royalty – I rarely carry money. Which is a bit odd for someone who works in a supermarket. I pay all my bills online.

I know what to buy. I just, well, don’t.

In my defence, I should say I am not the “kept man”.

Ironing is my province. She has tried ironing my shirts, but you know how you like them and it’s better if I do it. So I now do all the ironing, including school uniform.

Sewing is mine too. I hem the girls’ school slacks, fix holes in sweaters and repair torn seams. It’s “Dad’s sewing box” not Mum’s.

I can cook a full Sunday Roast and my mash potato is, according to the girls, better than Mum’s (tho they would never tell her).

I bath the babes and do my share of smelly nappies too.

So my one concession is having my clothes bought for me.

That’s not a bad thing is it?

Riding the Panther

2011-06-03T22:32:00.001+01:00

No it’s not a fancy analogy for anything.

We took Ashley to the kids’ Physio department to meet Paul, the rep from allabilitycycling.co.uk. They supply specially adapted bikes for kids with ~~disabilities~~ more challenges than most.

We took his frame so he could walk into the place and as we did the team were out with a little girl going up and down with her Mum towing her along.

The bikes are basically big tricycles with seat belts, saddles with high sides and pedal straps. They have tow bars for parents to initially pull them along then just to guide them.

To say he loved his turn is an understatement. He smiled and laughed his way round he car park several times – until me and Gill ran out of steam anyway!

Should have got some pics but we were so taken with his enthusiasm we forgot.

The only problem is that the bikes are obviously expensive. The one he should have – the Quest 88 Panther – with the straps etc is about £1100 (quote’s in the post). So now we have to start fundraising because the Physio only get money for wheelchairs and frames.

Wish us luck!

t'internet

2011-06-01T11:01:00.001+01:00

“t’internet” is used up here in the North of England by folk who see it in the same way as the first people to spot a new fangled autymobile chugging by. The kids use it and take it for granted and oldies like me have learned to harness it and make it work for us.

The internet is what you make it.

Social networking is fab but can be intrusive and you can say too much.

Email is a great tool in business to send information and pics as attachments but is getting outdated by modern media. I can remember telling my boss about 8 years ago about using on-site gear to show him around installations while he was still in his office. Now that’s humdrum.

I can keep in touch with old school pals without the pain of sitting in a bar with them.

I can chat with folk in the US with free video links.

I read several blogs most days and amongst them is one by Ellen, Mum to Purple Spaghetti Max. I can get a daily dose of someone in a very similar situation to us but a few years on. Others who comment on her blog provide further insight too. Blogging does expose you to the world but it’s up to you what you write and put out there in the way of pictures. The feedback I get from the likes of mumof4 (I’m a dadof4!) and mancais via twitter (we both seem to spend a lot of time in hospitals!:)) and many others is invaluable.

One bugbear I do have is all the tempting Get Rich Quick Schemes. I would love to work for ten hours a week and pull in £$1000 but in the real world, it ain’t gonna happen. I’m sure there are ways to set up home businesses but it’s not as easy as they make out.

We’ve been online (first dial up and now Broadband) for 14 years.

So how long have you been online? and is the internet a pain or a boon or a bit of both?

I think life was probably quieter without it.

Hair Today

2011-05-30T20:21:00.000+01:00

I’ve never been too fussy about the way I look.

Don’t get me wrong I’m not like Catweazle but I’m comfortable just being clean shaven and my hair being tidy.

My girls however are different matter.

They both love new haircuts and new clothes and most other things with the word “new” in front of them. They’ve started experimenting with make-up (sometime with hilarious results) and *cough* perfume too (often with eye-watering results).

When I was small I hated the barber’s (hairdressers were for women then). The standard was “short back and sides” and the clippers felt horrible on my scalp. In my teens I had more control and allowed it to grow into a mop.

Unfortunately curly,wavy hair does have a tendency to grow out rather than down so I eventually settled on a short hair cut.

As a young adult I’d never know what to say to barbers. It was almost like a comedy – line/ “What would like me to do sir?” I’d say “Well I’d rather like you to cut my hair please.”

On the rare occasions I ventured into the modern shops I was appalled at the at the foppishness of the boys washing my hair and appalled at the price I had to settle up after the deed.

I eventually found a “hairdresser/barber” who offered decent cuts for not much. You had good conversation, local papers to read, and they remembered you when you came back in. I went to that barber for 20 years and saw his boys go from hair sweepers for pocket money to married men.

When the new Rock development appeared in town the shop disappeared under a pile of rubble and eventually lots of shiny new shops. I tried some other hairdressers but it wasn’t the same.

Now I use clippers on myself and Gill trims the back (she always jokes about shaving rude words into the back of my head).

Heather had her hair cut? styled? today. I think she looks very grown up and,well, gorgeous.

Before (a bit wet) and After.

Life! Don't talk to me about life.

2011-05-28T16:24:00.000+01:00

Marvin the Paranoid Android made me laugh the first time I heard him drone on the radio series of Hitch hikers Guide to the Universe. It was 33 years ago and I would go to bed early to lie and listen to the series on my old clock/radio.

His permanently depressed state really tickled me. He had a brain the size of a planet and no task was able to occupy the smallest part of his intellect. This meant he was constantly bored and depressed.

They used him as a general purpose ship’s robot and at one point he had to wait for millions of years for his owners to turn up.

As a fluffy young teenager bouncing along on a glittery cloud of optimism this character, was my antithesis. So he made me laugh.

However, in the intervening decades Life has happened.

My glittery cloud has evaporated. My bounce has petered out and I am now somewhat “de-fluffed” by circumstances.

I don’t think I’m Marvin now but I do experience life with a little less zest than my adolescent self.

I try to look for the good in people and am generally disappointed. Faults and weaknesses are easy to spot. I have to work to see the good in people and know in my heart that eventually folk let you down. Because they’re human?

Trading off my well paid but mega-stressful service job for a semi-retired existence in a supermarket has paid dividends. I have time and energy for family and for the interesting bits of life that come along.

They offered me a manager’s job a while ago but I stuck to my guns and think I’m in the right place.

My recent change of job has enhanced my quality of life: being with a better manager; shorter hours; far less physical work.

But overall the old noggin isn’t doing enough. I don’t read as much as I used to. I rarely learn new work skills.

I need to get the cogs working again and so need a plan.

Maybe a new language?

Maybe forcing myself to find time to read again. (Gill’s getting me a pseudo-kindle)

Perhaps all this Marvin-esque thinking is down to the big 5-0 coming up in a few years.

Don’t know.

It might be an effect of my old Dad going into hospital the other day and my younger brother’s heart attack earlier this year.

Either way it needs sorting.

I’ll let you know.

Scary Times and a scary shirt Friday 27 May

2011-05-28T16:17:00.003+01:00

Got a call at 7am this morning from Mum to say Dad was in hospital with pneumonia.

Occasional updates through the day told me he was stable then on his way home.

He’s 85 and this was a bit of a scare.

Aspirational Pneumonia – where you breath in food etc.

Home and resting now.

==========================================

We’re celebrating the 21st birthday of George, the Asda Walmart clothing brand. It’s named after George Davies the first chief designer.

They told us we could choose one item of clothing to wear for our shifts between now and Monday.

So I chose this modest little number.

after the review - one more year

2011-05-24T14:21:00.002+01:00

Well that was interesting.

We’ve all decided that Ashley should stay in mainstream education for one more year.

We’ve been advised to go and have a look at the new super duper Special Needs Primary school which opens at Christmas so that we’re best advised.

We’ve been assured that the Special School Question is always on the table but that his progress has been superb over the last year.

He may receive an ipad to help with communication.

He will be “gently lowered” into the new class rather than just going all day. He’ll start in Nursery and spend progressively longer spells in class.

We’ve come away sure in ourselves that these folk have his best interests at heart.

Several specialists were there and they all seemed to know him really well.

They listened to our points of view and we’ve come away a bit better informed.

Pub Lunch now methinks.

Decisions decisions

2011-05-23T10:47:00.000+01:00

First of all thanks to all those folk who have contributed to our thinking on this blog and others and on FB.

We are having a Review in the morning to talk about Ashley and need to put the Question on the table “when will Special school be appropriate for him?”.

The school want him but we can’t see him staying there for another 5 years. The Specialists have pointed out that Physio, OT and a lot of Technology and specialist knowledge await him at SS.

However, he has mobile able peers around him every day and one-to-one care inschool.

It’s a toughy but we are coming down on the side of keeping him in mainstream school for another year.

BUT, we need to keep this discussion open. There feedback is essential for us to make the right decision when the time comes.

The work they’ve done has been excellent but that gap is widening between him and the other 5 year olds and we wonder when he will become distanced from his classmates.

9am GMT tomorrow. Wish us luck.

Decision Time?

2011-05-18T18:44:00.001+01:00

We need to decide (as always) what will be best for Ashley’s education.

Special School has always been an option but we went with Inclusion in our local school. He has a brilliant carer who has given him intense physio to get him standing and walking with a frame.

He has benefited from being with 4 and 5 year olds who have given him visible targets for his physical development.

However the gap between him and his peers (they turn 6 before September) is getting wider.

We visited our town’s Special School about a year ago and were impressed by their work (just not the fabric of the buildings!) They move into a new purpose built school in September.

He wouldn’t have one-to-one care but his work would be tailored to his ability along with similarly challenged kids.

We’re happy about our decision to have him stay in school but question the benefit he would get in the next few years.

The medicos all think Special School is a good idea. School want to keep hold.

How do you decide?

What questions do you ask yourself?

This is a toughy and all input’s welcome.

Friday 13th

2011-05-14T11:49:00.001+01:00

I’ve never been superstitious and consider the observance of this day as hooha perpetuated by a story-hungry media.

Luck is a nonsensical notion and often comes from ignorance blended with coincidence.

You make choices in life (consciously or not) which contribute to where you are today. Life happens to you and you deal with it.

It’s just silly to sum up points in time as lucky.

They’re not. They just happened.

Some people say they feel lucky that such a thing happened. They don’t. They feel happy that it happened. You don’t feel luck.

I resent people being referred to as lucky, especially if it’s me. It infers a lack of control and a propensity for having good things happening to you.

I don’t feel lucky. I’m not lucky…. and I’m not unlucky.

I feel joy when my little boy calls out “Daddy” and asks for “Cuggles”.

I feel pride when my girls come home with their accomplishments etched on a certificate or a glowing report card.

I feel unbridled, tear-jerking love for my kids each and every day of my life.

I still feel passion and unending love for my wife and my heart still skips a beat when she comes home from the shops. I love to watch her sleep and am thankful for her being able to keep me together.

But lucky. No. (and unlucky, no)

So Friday 13th? Bollx

Song Challenge – day 24 « Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

2011-04-25T08:29:00.000+01:00

Just blogged my daily song challenge over on WP

Song Challenge – day 24 « Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

3 by 9 « Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

2011-03-22T20:40:00.000Z

3 by 9 « Dave's (almost) Daily Drivel

Wordpress

2010-11-21T19:21:00.002Z

Leaving you again, this time for Wordpress.

Not one comment in ages despite me leaving comments on other blogs.

Good bye!

Downs and Ups

2010-11-19T22:56:00.001Z

Tuesday's brain scan was hard. Ashley took a while to recover from the General Anaesthetic and for a few days he was so tired. We tried to get him back to school and he stayed for half a day then a full day.

His resilience is great and his smiles soon come back. This makes it all the harder to put him through these things even though we know it is for his good. They need to watch his progress. They need to watch for things getting worse. But that doesn't stop us feeling guilty. They took six shots at getting a cannula in which left him looking bruised and sore. He had been due for further blood tests on Thursday but we cancelled them to give him time to heal.

This is one aspect of being the parent of a kid with a disability. "Elective" treatment is all well and good when you decide to have it done to you. But we have to make this decision for him. As his advocates we have to grit our teeth and say "yes" to him being manhandled, bruised, drugged, tested,. And yes, we do say "No" when the cumulative effect of their intrusion just gets too much.

There's a weird sense that you start to get of the "medical entity" which has so many faces. Although the individuals you deal with have their own characters and existence (families, careers etc), together they form a beast who would like to own your little one. You have to stand up and face this Thing and say NO! when the moment is right. We felt this more when he was tiny and we had Consultants and Registrars calling him in every week. Some hadn't even prepared for the interview - they seemed to thing that their assumed ownership of this poorly child would allow them to "wing it".......... I disagreed. One doctor probably still remembers the conversation we had when I told him precisely what I thought of him.

Work has been especially hard lately as we've fought to reduce stock levels, deal with high illness levels and new managers. Despite all this and my feeling exhausted and a bad shoulder injury not healing, despite all this we are coming out the other side.

On Sunday I supported a colleague in a disciplinary which was very traumatic. I came back feeling like I'd been wrung out. Not the best preparation for Tuesday's scan.

The back end of the week was interesting. I was told a Mystery Shopper had given me 100% which felt good and that my team had been nominated for a group prize for the reduction in stock.

Then yesterday Security called me in to show me cctv footage of a shoplifter new to the store. A distinctive looking woman she took whiskey and champagne and had bagged it, only paying for a loaf of bread. I said I'd keep an eye out for her. That afternoon I was tidying the whiskey section when a voice beside me asked for my opinion on two of the whiskey lines. Yup, it was her. I gave her a polite answer then went for security ... who weren't there. I looked for managers .... who weren't there. I thought I may as well challenge her myself at the door and when I got to the front I saw a manager. We challenged her together and got all the stock back before she ran off.

I was jubilant and then got on with the job.

Today I was summoned to the Celebration Lunch we have every 4 weeks. I knew about the Mystery Shopper and expected the usual £2 luncheon voucher. ... Nope. I got a "Gold" thank you card with a Diamond under the scratch-off panel. Puzzled I went on the company Intranet as instructed on the card and was really glad I did. Diamond level awards are one of the following:

- a paraglider flight

- a day at the races for two

- £50 off a day out at a Theme Park

- design your own perfume

- money off anything from lastminute.com who deal with short breaks, experiences, concerts, theatre etc

Not a bad end to the week eh?

p.s Jo got a Brownie Badge for Hostessing and Heather earned her first Bronze Merit at High School. So proud of my girlies.

an MRI at MRI

2010-11-15T21:00:00.001Z

That's a Magnetic Resonance Image (brain scan) at Manchester Royal Infirmary. Ashley's due for one tomorrow.

We have two worries:

- first, to have the scan, he has to be motionless. You and I could probably do this but a 5 year old special needs kids has no chance. Up til now he has been given Chloral Hydrate but now he's bigger he has to go under a General Anaesthetic. There are dangers involved and although they've assured us that he will only go under for long enough for the scan, it still worries us. Last year I stopped breathing on the way out of theatre after a throat op. I'm sure he'll be okay but ........

- secondly although he needs the scan (seizures are more frequent and it's been a couple of years since the last one) we still wonder what they'll find. He has a ventriculomegaly (larger than normal fluid channels in the middle of his brain), and arachnoid cyst (bubble of fluid in the coating of his brain) and agenesis of the corpus callosum (the bridge between the two halves of his brain is poorly formed). So we know what they're looking for but it worries us to know any of these things could worsen. There's talk of a shunt to ease a possible build up of pressure from his brain fluid (he's started to have headaches).

Not much sleep tonight then...........

Lament for a sister

2010-10-27T23:24:00.000+01:00

Here's something.

37 years ago my sister would have been born.

But 37 years ago in April we were in a car accident. The car was packed. Me and my two brothers were in the back of the estate my Mum drove. A family of four were in the back seat and Dad sat beside mum. As we turned to cross a road to get into a car park another car hit the front wing and made the car spin fast. Dad flew out of the window, landing on his head on a grid breaking his head and neck. His inner ears drained and miraculously the toddler in the back seat followed him out and landed on his shoulders - which saved her life, but broke his back. However, he wasn't finished. He stood up, head bleeding profusely, and demanded to see us boys. It took several men to get him to lie on the ambulance stretcher. The next day he was immobile. Couldn't speak - they'd put a tracheotomy in, stitched his head back up and loaded him with drugs.

It took a year to rehabilitate him. Even then he was a gaunt shadow of himself. Barely able to walk. Learning to talk and eat with half a throat. No balance making him seem drunk. Mashed brain struggling to make connections again. Seizures taking over his body during the night.

It's a testament to what a mighty man he was that after this incredible setback at 46 he's still alive today at 84.

The only other injury was to my Mum who was wearing a seatbelt. It cut into her so suddenly and sharply that she lost the baby she was carrying. The baby she didn't know about. Her 'cycle' wasn't regular at that time and she'd thought nothing of it.

But about now 37 years ago my sister would have been born.

I sometimes wonder what she would have been like.

I know I look for her in women of a similar age.

How would the three of us grown differently having a little sister?

She could have been a Grandma by now (I'd hope not).

You can't miss what you've never had.

But I do wonder......

Thought I'd share.

Hope your day's been good.

Life goes on

2010-10-21T20:56:00.002+01:00

Early start this morning.

Took Jo’s Aztec Football pitch over to school with her for preschool club. The spikes are for the losing side’s heads she tells me.

Jumped in the car and took Ashley to Manchester Royal Infirmary for consult with the Endocrine peeps. No blood tests but further scans ordered.

Back to retrieve toddler daughter from a friend. Fab morning in town apparently.

Afternoon with my Mum putting up a wall mounted TV. She’d bought the wrong bracket and managed to pour a cup of hot tea all over me. Dad (84 today) had a skull cap on. He’d gone into the garden yesterday to feed the fish and slipped and split his head open. Mum got back to find the place full of police and ambulance paramedics fixing him up.

Home for a bath – my half an hour of peace.

Quick tea then all kids dressed for a spooks disco – pics below – younger two conked out so brought them home and left Gill and the girls boogying with our mates. The lady holding Ashley is a good friend and one of his Support Team.

Hope your day was good.

Birds n Bees

2010-10-15T07:15:00.001+01:00

We’ve always been open about Sex Ed with Heather and Jo. We agreed when H was small that we’d answer their questions as they came and not lecture them or burden them with detail. My Mum sat me down and gave me the full graphic description. It took over half an hour and just served to confuse me.

School has just launched into the biology of the whole thing with line drawings and cartoon couplings.

She brought a worksheet home this evening which she got absolutely and very comically wrong.

Don’t get me wrong. She’s bright enough. She just doesn’t learn things like an arrow whizzing to its target. It’s more like a feather wafting in a zephyr.

Anyway, when we reordered the whole thing so that sperm doesn’t originate in the ovary (where it’s nice and warm) and doesn’t go on a swim to look for eggs in the vagina, she sat looking thoughtfully. Then she said, “so have you and Mummy done it?”. and then squealed “FOUR TIMES!” at my answer. For an embarrassed moment I almost said “we’ve done it morethan 4 times” but managed to suppress that one.

Homework done and book closed we went back to watching Modern Family (the earthquake one). Thank goodness I’d got through that one fairly unscathed.

She then turned to me and asked “How does it get in there then?”

Mid Life Crisis?

2010-10-03T12:44:00.001+01:00

I’m 48 in a fortnight.

It’s a scary thought.

At 48 my Dad had served in the army on “mop-up” operations around the Med after the war, been married twice, emigrated with us in tow to Oz and been in a near fatal accident which has left him deaf and with some paralysis.

He still has his sense of humour though.

At 48 (nearly) I’ve been a teacher, charity worker, administrator, operations/service manager, and now do some hours in a supermarket. I’ve been married for 13 years this November and have fathered 4 children (that I know of lol).

A few weeks ago my younger brother had a heart attack and is now recovering slowly. This has reminded me of my own mortality. Something which has chilled me to the bone, especially with a young family to care for.

I know I’m ageing better than my peers, judging by their facebook profile pictures anyway. I give blood a few times a year and have never been refused in 30 years. Last year I had a lump removed from my throat which I’ve been told was a warty growth and not “sinister”.

Today Gill took me to a tattoo parlour to choose my birthday present. I’ve chosen to have portraits of my kids across my shoulders and back. I need to add Cerys to the list of scrolls on my left upper arm and am eyeing up a St George killing the dragon “born British but English by the Grace of God”.

I know it’s not a big motor bike as is the norm for MLC sufferers. But it is a big step.

I don’t wander around with my shirt off so Gill and the girls are the only ones who’ll see them.

So is it a mid life crisis?

Don’t know.

moved !

2010-09-19T16:36:00.001+01:00

moved to WordPress at http://dderbydave.wordpress.com/ see you there!

It's an interesting life.

2008-05-12T16:23:00.001+01:00

Well, it's all go here!
My day off (of course) and Ashley went to Nursery this morning all smiles. An hour later we got a call to say he has Chicken Pox. So he's home for a week. The baby's ok (she has her Mum's immunity for 6 months or so) and we've all had it.
Ten minutes ago we got a call to say Gill's Mum has been rushed to hospital for chest rays - suspected collapsed lung.
So I'm making tea tonite.
New rota starts tomorrow morning at 6. Wish me luck!

First steps

2008-05-06T20:19:00.001+01:00

Ashley has Developmental Delay which means he is basically like a 38 pound one year old.

Because of this he has been Statemented which means when he starts
School Nursery in September he will have a Carer and equipment to help
him thrive in a mainstream school.

Today we met with the Head of Infants, his carer-to-be, our Portage
worker and the town’s Special Needs Coordinator to start the planning
for his induction later this term and his first few weeks in September.

I won’t bore you with the details but I will say that although the
meeting was very productive (the Head of Infants is a remarkable
woman!) it was also very difficult.

As parents we have always been fierce in protecting Ashley from
unnecessary treatment, rough handling, long days in hospital etc. Today
felt a little like we were delegating some of that responsibility to
these people. As such we have to be sure that everything is up to
scratch. So it was difficult.

However, one day in the long distant future Ashley will hopefully be
independent and we have to work towards that. September will be a step
on that path.

Lazy Sunday

2008-05-04T10:20:00.001+01:00

It's been a good week with Ashley showing some real development and my job due to change.

Gill arrived to pick Ash up from the Nursery (he goes twice a week now) to be shown a video of the little guy standing at the sandpit. The significance may be lost to anyone who hasn't followed his progress over the last 33 months. We had an inkling that things were 'on the move' when he started pushing up from his 'commando crawl' into a hands and knees position a few weeks ago. He went to an upright kneeling position against the settee and now this.

To say we're glad is a little bit of an understatement. Although he's not talking yet and still eats mush, this is a crucial point in his development which can only indicate real progress and hope for the future.

Work is changing. A new job on the booze aisles will see me starting early each morning and finishing in time to pick the girls up from school. It will really enhance our family life and help lift some of the weight from Gill's shoulders.

The mobility car in September ( a Zafira 7 seater I think) will put the shine on things too.

Sorry these blogs are a bit sporadic but family and work life is a bit hectic at the moment and sleep at a premium with little lady only just settling to good nights after 11 weeks.

Trust you're all well and happy.

Talk soon.

We're back!

2008-04-23T21:58:00.001+01:00

After a very long “conversation” with Talktalk, we’re back.

Cerys Emma was born on the 16th February at 2:44 am at 7 pounds 14 ozs. First water to baby emerging took a superfast 3 hours.She is gorgeous (of course) and developing well. Pics to follow.

Ashley is now not only on all fours, but also starting to inch forward - a proper crawler at last!

We’re getting a Vauxhall Zafira in September as aprt of Ashley’s Mobility Package. Can’t wait.

The girls are fighting fit and loving life and me and Gill are good.

Sorry about the 3 month gap but we knew Talktalk would give up eventually!

Quiet weekend

2008-01-27T21:17:00.001Z

Part of the joy of being a bulging household is the large number of things that happen all day every day. You don't really notice all of them but the noise and mess morphs slowly in the right direction.

Since Friday lunchtime all these things seemed to have happened:
I built a full-sized bed for Ashley;
I apinted the living room and touched up the stairs;
Heather went to Brownies;
Gill got an evening away from the turmoil;
Gill spent a day in Oldham;
the girls have gutted their room (oh boy did it need it!);
Everyone got a bath;
both living rooms got cleaned and vacced;
a friend and her kids spent the evening;
we all had a meal out;
me and the girls watched a Harry Potter
I got my haircut;
all the homework was done by teatime Friday (house rule);

Sunday night and Gill's sorting through a bag of clothes for Ashley.

It's all go again tomorrow. Ashley's in the Nursery and has a Portage (physio) session in the afternoon and Tuesday his Occ therapist is coming to see us.I'm working the afternoon tomorrow (no manager so we should get some work done haha). The week's fairly quiet what with the due date looming.

Hopefully this time next week we'll be SIX and we'll start working Clinic visits and Health visitors into the mix.

It's a busy and I LOVE IT!

Proud Daddy

2008-01-25T16:50:00.001Z

Early home from work so spent the afternoon making a full size bed for Ash.

My daughter's just swum across the pool (10m). So proud.
Should be good for show and tell at Brownies tonight.

Jo's fallen in school and has a graze on her cheek.

Homework's being done before friends arrive at 5:30 (fellow Brownie).

Have to collect Ash from Nursery in a bit.

No news on the baby front.

A bit of progress.

2008-01-24T21:00:00.001Z

Ashley has been showing a bit of progress just lately. A year ago when this pic was taken he couldn't hold himself in a sitting position and spent most of his time staring at his hands.

Just recently after huge amounts of physio and a new course of Growth Hormone and Thyroxine the wee man is beginning to progress.

He has been commando crawling for a while but is now pushing his bum up a bit and even pushes up onto all fours (that got a cheer the first time he did it!) He's reaching up to get things off of tables too.

This evening he's showing us his Strongman Act. Big Sis (8) was googling for Dragon pictures and was sitting on a swivel chair (feet a-dangling) Ash managed to reach up and grab the back support and start swinging her left and right. Later he crawled to the double pram (Phil n Ted's 3 wheeler) and was shoving it back and forth laughing as he did it.

The docs at St Mary's in Manchester saw him today and said he'd grown a lot since starting the drugs in December. He's longer and heavier. We had expressed doubts about too much GH but they've assured us he won't become a new Andre the Giant!

Our real concerns lie with his sleeping. Just lately he's been sleepy an hour after getting up. They think he might not be producing Cortisol ( a hormone that reacts to stress) and did some more blood tests today. I think C helps him establish a daily slepp routine.

Anyhoo, they're all in bed and i'm off to Little Tesco for some shopping. Aah, the joy of Parenthood.

Back to work

2008-01-21T18:41:00.001Z

Still waiting for the new arrival.Gill's back is bad with all the Braxton-Hicks over the last week or so.

Ashley had a great day at nursery and showed them his new trick of pushing up onto all fours (so proud of him) He's shown a lot of improvement since starting to take Growth Hormone every day.

Work was good with tons to do whilst being pleasant to some really daft customers. Only had a half day to work so it wasn't too much of a shock to the system after a week off.

Hope your day went well.

Back to work

2008-01-20T23:15:00.001Z

Made the decision this evening to go back to work.
Gill's pains have all but gone for the moment. Last Tuesday we were convinced that she was in labour but by Friday afternoon it seemed it was a False alarm.
Bet you she goes into labour tomorrow morning!

authenticating

2008-01-20T13:14:00.001Z

Undergoing MyBlogLog Verification

Ashley

2008-01-20T10:11:00.001Z

I was putting Ashley's leg braces on this morning when it struck me once again what a good spirit the boy has.
He smiles.
We jab him with Growth hormone and he smiles.
We strap him into braces which bend his ankles and he smiles.
Even when he has a heavy cold he smiles.

Don't get me wrong, he has his miserable moments especially when he's dosed up with anti-fitting drugs and when he's tired.
But after hours of waiting in hospitals and being messed about by doctors, he smiles.

He has a spirit within him which will see him through. He makes great eye contact (forced by poor peripheral vision) which is very endearing to strangers. This means he always has people saying hello, and remembering him. It's almost like a Fan Club when we visit the local Asda Walmart!

Still no baby

2008-01-19T16:52:00.001Z

We're still waiting for the arrival of baby number 4.
The initial twinges, although regular, were deemed to be Braxton Hicks.
Ashley's making progress - he's pushing up onto all fours now (h'ray!)
Made myself useful today unblocking a toilet (yuck)
Mum dropped in with a bundle of clothes for the kids.
Steak puddings for tea (yum)
Nothing to do but wait...

'ere w e go again!

2008-01-17T18:10:00.001Z

Gill started slow labour as I recovered from my illness on Tuesday night.

Slow isn’t really the word. Ponderous, glacial, I think they’re nearer the mark!

I phoned into work on Wednesday to start my Paternity leave and we’ve been watching paint dry ever since. It’s torture.

They (the contractions) have just started again now on Thursday night.

Don’t think we’ll do all this again.

Maybe.

: )

Happy New Year

2008-01-11T15:31:00.001Z

Ashley had a Big Seizure on Wednesday evening which ended up with him in hospital for the night. It seems his condition means he's more susceptible to febrile fits.

The middle line of his brain isn't developed fully and this includes his Hypothalamus which controls body temperature.

The little man is developing a catalogue of "challenges" linked to this condition which we will help him face as he grows up.

Any body reading this?

On the 8th Day of Christmas ...

2008-01-01T19:01:00.001Z

First Day of a new year makes you reflect a bit (and start new blogs!)

I'm 44 and have 3 kids with another due in Feb. We've spent most of the last 2 years in hospitals around Manchester with our son. He has developmental delay and has 3 medications per day.

My job's adequate and my marriage is solid.

I'm aching to write a book about our hospital experiences but never find the time.

Does anybody still read and comment on blogs? My last two have dies a death.

Anybody out there?