Saturday 25 June 2011

Tuesday 21 June 2011

Tuesday 14 June 2011

Taking Control

It’s easy to let things slip and being organised has always been a bug bear of mine.

I keep a calendar on Google which is dandy for repeat events, colour coding and reminders.

We also have a 7 week wipe off calendar which the kids add things to when events come up. I transfer details from Google onto the wipe-off so everyone knows what’s coming up.

If it ain’t on the calendar, Dad doesn’t know about it.

We plan each week ahead so that clashes don’t happen and decide who’s attending what – with me working it’s easy for Gill to get the lion’s share of medicals, which is hardly fair.

All the kids school breaks are on the calendar which is more important with two school involved.

It also helps me to retrieve data: I can’t remember dates and the “events” filter helps me find out when things happened and see patterns too.

It’s not 100% as things slip through the net and we end up missing things or doubled booked. But it’s good enough and serves the purpose.

So are you a filofax fiend or a post-it person?

When I was born

  1. Harold MacMillan was almost done as PM of England and JFK had just celebrated 100 days as President of the US.
  2. Brian Poole and the Tremeloes were no.1 with Do You Love Me?
  3. Sandy Koufax was MVP for the Dodgers leading them to a Series whitewash over the Yankees.
  4. Everton were were football League Champions.
  5. Jim Clarke dominated F1 and came second in the Indy 500 to Parnelli Clarke.
  6. The Beatles were enjoying a 30 week spell at the top of the album charts.
  7. Dr Who and the Daleks hadn’t been broadcast.
  8. A loaf cost 5 pence or 22 cents and a car cost £2500.
  9. The ring pull had just been invented.
  10. Our toilet was downstairs next to the coal cupboard, no-one on our street owned a car and only a few had phones. All windows were single pains of glass and would ice up inside in mid winter.
Times have changed eh?

Tuesday 7 June 2011

From Humble Beginnings

Earlier this year the government announced that child poverty in the UK had fallen by 2% at the end of the last government. But at 20% it still stands out as a very weak aspect of our society.

I remember as a kid, knowing we didn’t have much.

Sweets were a once-a-week-maybe treat (mine get them every other day) – btw there’s always fruit available too!

We got a tiny TV for the lunar landing when I was 5 but it was only a rental.

Holidays were in a borrowed caravan in North Wales.

But there was no mould on the walls. Jobs were more plentiful. By the time we emigrated when I was 7 Dad had been a worker in a transparent paper mill, a weaver and a milkman. We always had meat and two veg and home made fish and chips on Friday.

When I got to High School I started to find out that other kids went abroad once a year and didn’t hand clothes down to younger sibs. I started to develop a sense of shame about it and oddly anger toward my parents about our situation. I grew out of this and became hugely respectful of what my Mum had achieved (2 of us went to Uni and got Honours Degrees and my younger brother is a sr psychiatric nurse).

By then my Dad was disabled from a car accident so we lived off benefits first from Australia and then over here.

It gave me a good sense of how far money stretches and how to cook and look after things to make them last.

The documentary advertised below seems to paint a gloomier picture of the state of people’s homes and lives.

I’ll watch it and post a link to the programme when it appears.

BBC News – What children think and feel about growing up poor.

Monday 6 June 2011

A Kept Man?

A new survey has revealed that half of a man’s clothing is bought by his wife. He purchases 30% while the rest are made up of gifts from friends and relatives.

Well, for me this certainly isn’t true.

I haven’t bought a stitch in years.

Before Gill moved in, I’d buy clothes as and when I needed them (rarely). Shirts and slacks for work. Occasional ties. Jeans when the old ones fell apart. I’d only ever have what I needed.

But when she took over the purse strings my wardrobe got thoroughly freshened up. Lots of old ‘favourites’ disappeared and since then she has done the shopping. Shirts come and go. New undies magically appear in the drawer and if I look at a “fab” shirt I think would look great on me I get “the stare” and walk on.

Unlike me, Gill loves shopping and will happily go out when I get home to do a full grocery shop. She makes all the major appliance purchases (usually online and sourced by me – I’m good at digging out a bargain) and likes nothing more than choosing new drapes or bedding.

Purgatory for me would be an eternity in a mall with an endless shopping list and shop-assistant imps poking me with their forks.

This trend has developed over the years to the point where I’m a bit like royalty – I rarely carry money. Which is a bit odd for someone who works in a supermarket. I pay all my bills online.

I know what to buy. I just, well, don’t.

In my defence, I should say I am not the “kept man”.

Ironing is my province. She has tried ironing my shirts, but you know how you like them and it’s better if I do it. So I now do all the ironing, including school uniform.

Sewing is mine too. I hem the girls’ school slacks, fix holes in sweaters and repair torn seams. It’s “Dad’s sewing box” not Mum’s.

I can cook a full Sunday Roast and my mash potato is, according to the girls, better than Mum’s (tho they would never tell her).

I bath the babes and do my share of smelly nappies too.

So my one concession is having my clothes bought for me.

That’s not a bad thing is it?

Friday 3 June 2011

Riding the Panther

No it’s not a fancy analogy for anything.

We took Ashley to the kids’ Physio department to meet Paul, the rep from allabilitycycling.co.uk. They supply specially adapted bikes for kids with disabilities more challenges than most.

We took his frame so he could walk into the place and as we did the team were out with a little girl going up and down with her Mum towing her along.

The bikes are basically big tricycles with seat belts, saddles with high sides and pedal straps. They have tow bars for parents to initially pull them along then just to guide them.

To say he loved his turn is an understatement. He smiled and laughed his way round he car park several times – until me and Gill ran out of steam anyway!

Should have got some pics but we were so taken with his enthusiasm we forgot.

The only problem is that the bikes are obviously expensive. The one he should have – the Quest 88 Panther – with the straps etc is about £1100 (quote’s in the post). So now we have to start fundraising because the Physio only get money for wheelchairs and frames.

Wish us luck!

Wednesday 1 June 2011

t'internet

“t’internet” is used up here in the North of England by folk who see it in the same way as the first people to spot a new fangled autymobile chugging by. The kids use it and take it for granted and oldies like me have learned to harness it and make it work for us.

The internet is what you make it.

Social networking is fab but can be intrusive and you can say too much.

Email is a great tool in business to send information and pics as attachments but is getting outdated by modern media. I can remember telling my boss about 8 years ago about using on-site gear to show him around installations while he was still in his office. Now that’s humdrum.

I can keep in touch with old school pals without the pain of sitting in a bar with them.

I can chat with folk in the US with free video links.

I read several blogs most days and amongst them is one by Ellen, Mum to Purple Spaghetti Max. I can get a daily dose of someone in a very similar situation to us but a few years on. Others who comment on her blog provide further insight too. Blogging does expose you to the world but it’s up to you what you write and put out there in the way of pictures. The feedback I get from the likes of mumof4 (I’m a dadof4!) and mancais via twitter (we both seem to spend a lot of time in hospitals!:)) and many others is invaluable.

One bugbear I do have is all the tempting Get Rich Quick Schemes. I would love to work for ten hours a week and pull in £$1000 but in the real world, it ain’t gonna happen. I’m sure there are ways to set up home businesses but it’s not as easy as they make out.

We’ve been online (first dial up and now Broadband) for 14 years.

So how long have you been online? and is the internet a pain or a boon or a bit of both?

I think life was probably quieter without it.

Monday 30 May 2011

Hair Today

I’ve never been too fussy about the way I look.

Don’t get me wrong I’m not like Catweazle but I’m comfortable just being clean shaven and my hair being tidy.

My girls however are different matter.

They both love new haircuts and new clothes and most other things with the word “new” in front of them. They’ve started experimenting with make-up (sometime with hilarious results) and *cough* perfume too (often with eye-watering results).

When I was small I hated the barber’s (hairdressers were for women then). The standard was “short back and sides” and the clippers felt horrible on my scalp. In my teens I had more control and allowed it to grow into a mop.

Unfortunately curly,wavy hair does have a tendency to grow out rather than down so I eventually settled on a short hair cut.

As a young adult I’d never know what to say to barbers. It was almost like a comedy – line/ “What would like me to do sir?” I’d say “Well I’d rather like you to cut my hair please.”

On the rare occasions I ventured into the modern shops I was appalled at the at the foppishness of the boys washing my hair and appalled at the price I had to settle up after the deed.

I eventually found a “hairdresser/barber” who offered decent cuts for not much. You had good conversation, local papers to read, and they remembered you when you came back in. I went to that barber for 20 years and saw his boys go from hair sweepers for pocket money to married men.

When the new Rock development appeared in town the shop disappeared under a pile of rubble and eventually lots of shiny new shops. I tried some other hairdressers but it wasn’t the same.

Now I use clippers on myself and Gill trims the back (she always jokes about shaving rude words into the back of my head).

Heather had her hair cut? styled? today. I think she looks very grown up and,well, gorgeous.

Before (a bit wet) and After.

Saturday 28 May 2011

Life! Don't talk to me about life.

Marvin the Paranoid Android made me laugh the first time I heard him drone on the radio series of Hitch hikers Guide to the Universe. It was 33 years ago and I would go to bed early to lie and listen to the series on my old clock/radio.

His permanently depressed state really tickled me. He had a brain the size of a planet and no task was able to occupy the smallest part of his intellect. This meant he was constantly bored and depressed.

They used him as a general purpose ship’s robot and at one point he had to wait for millions of years for his owners to turn up.

As a fluffy young teenager bouncing along on a glittery cloud of optimism this character, was my antithesis. So he made me laugh.

However, in the intervening decades Life has happened.

My glittery cloud has evaporated. My bounce has petered out and I am now somewhat “de-fluffed” by circumstances.

I don’t think I’m Marvin now but I do experience life with a little less zest than my adolescent self.

I try to look for the good in people and am generally disappointed. Faults and weaknesses are easy to spot. I have to work to see the good in people and know in my heart that eventually folk let you down. Because they’re human?

Trading off my well paid but mega-stressful service job for a semi-retired existence in a supermarket has paid dividends. I have time and energy for family and for the interesting bits of life that come along.

They offered me a manager’s job a while ago but I stuck to my guns and think I’m in the right place.

My recent change of job has enhanced my quality of life: being with a better manager; shorter hours; far less physical work.

But overall the old noggin isn’t doing enough. I don’t read as much as I used to. I rarely learn new work skills.

I need to get the cogs working again and so need a plan.

Maybe a new language?

Maybe forcing myself to find time to read again. (Gill’s getting me a pseudo-kindle)

Perhaps all this Marvin-esque thinking is down to the big 5-0 coming up in a few years.

Don’t know.

It might be an effect of my old Dad going into hospital the other day and my younger brother’s heart attack earlier this year.

Either way it needs sorting.

I’ll let you know.

Scary Times and a scary shirt Friday 27 May

Got a call at 7am this morning from Mum to say Dad was in hospital with pneumonia.

Occasional updates through the day told me he was stable then on his way home.

He’s 85 and this was a bit of a scare.

Aspirational Pneumonia – where you breath in food etc.

Home and resting now.

==========================================

We’re celebrating the 21st birthday of George, the Asda Walmart clothing brand. It’s named after George Davies the first chief designer.

They told us we could choose one item of clothing to wear for our shifts between now and Monday.

So I chose this modest little number. :)







Tuesday 24 May 2011

after the review - one more year

Well that was interesting.

We’ve all decided that Ashley should stay in mainstream education for one more year.

We’ve been advised to go and have a look at the new super duper Special Needs Primary school which opens at Christmas so that we’re best advised.

We’ve been assured that the Special School Question is always on the table but that his progress has been superb over the last year.

He may receive an ipad to help with communication.

He will be “gently lowered” into the new class rather than just going all day. He’ll start in Nursery and spend progressively longer spells in class.

We’ve come away sure in ourselves that these folk have his best interests at heart.

Several specialists were there and they all seemed to know him really well.

They listened to our points of view and we’ve come away a bit better informed.

Pub Lunch now methinks.

Monday 23 May 2011

Decisions decisions

First of all thanks to all those folk who have contributed to our thinking on this blog and others and on FB.

We are having a Review in the morning to talk about Ashley and need to put the Question on the table “when will Special school be appropriate for him?”.

The school want him but we can’t see him staying there for another 5 years. The Specialists have pointed out that Physio, OT and a lot of Technology and specialist knowledge await him at SS.

However, he has mobile able peers around him every day and one-to-one care inschool.

It’s a toughy but we are coming down on the side of keeping him in mainstream school for another year.

BUT, we need to keep this discussion open. There feedback is essential for us to make the right decision when the time comes.

The work they’ve done has been excellent but that gap is widening between him and the other 5 year olds and we wonder when he will become distanced from his classmates.

9am GMT tomorrow. Wish us luck. :)

Wednesday 18 May 2011

Decision Time?

We need to decide (as always) what will be best for Ashley’s education.

Special School has always been an option but we went with Inclusion in our local school. He has a brilliant carer who has given him intense physio to get him standing and walking with a frame.

He has benefited from being with 4 and 5 year olds who have given him visible targets for his physical development.

However the gap between him and his peers (they turn 6 before September) is getting wider.

We visited our town’s Special School about a year ago and were impressed by their work (just not the fabric of the buildings!) They move into a new purpose built school in September.

He wouldn’t have one-to-one care but his work would be tailored to his ability along with similarly challenged kids.

We’re happy about our decision to have him stay in school but question the benefit he would get in the next few years.

The medicos all think Special School is a good idea. School want to keep hold.

How do you decide?

What questions do you ask yourself?

This is a toughy and all input’s welcome.

Saturday 14 May 2011

Friday 13th

I’ve never been superstitious and consider the observance of this day as hooha perpetuated by a story-hungry media.

Luck is a nonsensical notion and often comes from ignorance blended with coincidence.

You make choices in life (consciously or not) which contribute to where you are today. Life happens to you and you deal with it.

It’s just silly to sum up points in time as lucky.

They’re not. They just happened.

Some people say they feel lucky that such a thing happened. They don’t. They feel happy that it happened. You don’t feel luck.

I resent people being referred to as lucky, especially if it’s me. It infers a lack of control and a propensity for having good things happening to you.

I don’t feel lucky. I’m not lucky…. and I’m not unlucky.

I feel joy when my little boy calls out “Daddy” and asks for “Cuggles”.

I feel pride when my girls come home with their accomplishments etched on a certificate or a glowing report card.

I feel unbridled, tear-jerking love for my kids each and every day of my life.

I still feel passion and unending love for my wife and my heart still skips a beat when she comes home from the shops. I love to watch her sleep and am thankful for her being able to keep me together.

But lucky. No. (and unlucky, no)

So Friday 13th? Bollx